Shifting from an employee mindset to that of an entrepreneur can be tricky business. When you've had a lifetime of others setting deadlines for you and telling you what to do and when to do it, the sudden independence of being your own boss can be shocking.
As an entrepreneur, there are certain shifts in your mindset that you will probably need to make.
Today's post is about 2 such mindset shifts that were majorly responsible for my success today.
Let's have a little fun with it.
Below is my personal story of my “past life”, how I used to think and how my thinking used to stop me from reaching my full potential.
As I tell this story, try to pick out the 2 mindset shifts that I desperately needed….. and I mean, DESPERATELY!
Here is my story….
I was not always the have-it-all-together, polished person I am today. 😀 Haha.
But seriously, there was a time not that long ago when my life was a mess, in utter chaos. I was angry at the world and full of self pity.
I was 50 lbs overweight with high blood pressure and a huge chip on my shoulder.
I thought my issues focused on the fact that I was going through a particularly difficult divorce. For much of my marriage, my soon-to-be ex-wife was an active drinker, a closet alcoholic (she drank in private, not actually in a closet!).
There's no doubt that her drinking had severe effects on our marriage, and I made sure she knew it at every opportunity. During the divorce proceedings, I used her drinking habit like an anvil, hitting her over the head with the guilt of what she had done to our relationship and our kids.
I was blaming my ex-wife for everything wrong in my life.
I was really good at POINTING THE FINGER OF BLAME.
Even after we got through the divorce, we still needed to work together to raise our kids. Though I wanted to turn the page and move on with my life, I was continually drawn to the past and couldn't resist telling my “woe is me” tale to anyone who would listen.
I was still living in that nightmare, unable to move forward.
Okay, were you able to pick out the 2 mindsets or beliefs that were holding me back, not allowing me to move forward and grow as a person?
You guys are smart, so you probably picked it up right away, but just in case…
These 2 mindsets were holding me back from personal and business growth:
1. Blaming everyone and everything else for my problems
I was a huge blamer. I blamed my ex-wife, my kids, my boss, my co-workers, my friends, my enemies, my pharmacist… whoever was around.
You see, it was NEVER my fault.
It was a mindset that I somehow picked up early on in my life, and it cost me dearly until I was able to make a shift…
A shift from BLAMING to ACCEPTING.
Shifting from blaming others to accepting responsibility is a HUGE change in mindset that is shared by successful people in all walks of life.
Once I realized that I was responsible for EVERYTHING in my life, interestingly my life became easier to handle.
I was in control, I was responsible for the good and the bad.
No one else.
BONUS — be sure to check out 5 Tips For Struggling Network Marketers for additional strategies and mindset shifts.
2. Living in the past
It's easy to live in the past. First of all, it's known.
Fear of the unknown can be a scary thing for some people. Gravitating to the past is natural for these people because it's less of a threat.
And living in the past is great for one other thing — BLAMING others for the results in your life to that point.
In many ways, these 2 mindsets are intertwined. You blame others for things that happened in the past, and you dwell on your past to support your argument.
What a vicious circle!
If you are going to be successful and happy, you need to switch your focus away from the past and towards the present and the future.
- For the present, what is happening right now and how can I make the best out of it.
- For the future, dare to dream of wonderful things that will happen to you. Make a strategic plan on how you will build your successful life past this point.
It's empowering, it's exciting… and it's absolutely necessary if you want to become a successful entrepreneur.
Your Turn
What limiting beliefs or mindsets are holding you back in your life?
What shifts in your mindset have made a big difference in your life?
Lets start a list in the Comments section below, and please SHARE this post if you found it useful and interesting.
28 replies to "Who Are You Blaming?"
I am glad you have shared your story to us…Anyway, for me, we should not blame anyone especially when something happens to us that we really don’t expect that makes our life worse…We just have to be on the brighter side…
These are habits that are very hard to break. I’m glad that you have gotten over them. Another dangerous habit that I think a lot of people possess is – comparing yourselves with others. People tend to measure themselves by the success / failure that we see in others. If we see people who are miserable, we tend to think that we’re better and if we see people more successful than us or those who seem more happy, we tend to get blinded to have the same success. I don’t think this is healthy. This takes us out of focus and forget how to live our own lives – the way we want it to.
Great point, Audrey… comparing ourselves to others is another waste of energy. When we understand that we all move at different paces, we can then measure progress within ourselves, not against others.
Thanks for your contribution!
Thanks for your story Bob…I am really inspired now and I thank you for sharing this to us…
Hi Bob,
wow, thanks for sharing your personal insights. Once we become aware of the game we are playing with ourselves and what it cost us (and still will cost if we don’t change), changes becomes easier, chances are it only becomes possible with this level of awareness.
Playing the blame game makes matters worse because we are giving even more power away to others and the learning processes from the universe become more and more disagreeable because we need to learn it some day.
Most people live in the past because they have unresolved issues with the past. The past might be known, as you note, but it might as well be unknown ground to many if they don’t understand what happened and why it happened – if it doesn’t make sense to them.
Accepting 100 % responsibility is critical – we can’t wait until we understand everything that is going in our lives. We don’t have to, but we have to take full responsibitly even for things we don’t fully understand yet.
Take care
Oliver
Great comment, Oliver! I agree that most people live in the past. I think it’s because it’s comfortable and known. It’s much easier for most people to blame others and circumstances in the past for current failures. The real key to moving forward is to stop blaming and keep moving forward.
Thanks for your insights, Oliver!
Hey Bob, it’s funny, I had known that blaming others or other situations and not taking responsibility for what was happening to me was the opposite of where I wanted to go. Yet, I realized one day I was blaming everything around me if things didn’t go the way I thought they should. The thing was I knew I shouldn’t do that so I cleverly masked it and rationalized things, it was amazing to what extent I would go to in order to not accept responsibility. It was kind of scary when I realized but also so eye-opening. I thought I knew better until I stopped making excuses and accepted the possibility that perhaps I too was placing blame.
This is so true, Hans. Even though I know better, even now I sometimes find myself blaming others for my circumstances (especially my ex-wife! :-). But seriously, it’s so easy to rationalize it, right? I believe the key here is awareness. Becoming aware when you fall backward into the blame game and correct it on the spot.
That’s what I’ve been doing and it seems to be working.
Thanks for sharing your experiences, Hans!
Great post.
I can recall when I use to have a big chip on my shoulder and played victim all the time.
Also living in the past was my story. Oh it will not work… I tried this before etc…
But as i got older and more mature and more focus on the real problems I changed
so I can definitely relate to this post and the message you are relaying Bob.
If people in network marketing could understand that they have to take responsibility and that everyone is not the blame for their failures, I believe we would have alot more success stories.
Hi Shawn… you bring up an interesting point.
Many time the “blame game” is played by the young and those not mature enough to understand that we all must deal with obstacles along the way in life.
Many get this as they get older, but the saddest of cases are the older people who still play this game of blaming others for their failures and limitations.
I agree that blaming is a national past time. People who do not understand how the universe works would change it in an instant if they knew. Blame is just another negative emotion that brings us more negative things. Nice to shift this and truly take charge of having a magnificent life.
I love the way you put it, Joanie..and it’s so true. Blaming is inherently negative and only serves to attract more negativity into your life.
Bob I am reading myself as I read your post talking about your past. I was such a huge blame everyone for MY life situations and never really looking within…once I did everything changed for the better and my mindset is getting stronger each day. Thanks for the great post. Looking forward to return to find more awesome content!
Congrats on making the switch, Scott. Unfortunately, many never do and they live their life blaming others and as a result, feel that their life is unfulfilled. And I find that very sad.
Great to have you aboard, mate!
It is essential to keep on moving forward to learn from our own mistake.. To become a better person..Instead of blaming someone I would try to do my best to solve problem.. Thanks a lot for sharing..
That’s such a key, Jewel… learn from your own mistakes and stop blaming others.
Thanks for sharing.
Well and True said.
Blaming others is that kind of bad habits which urgently need to be cured otherwise it will going to spoil our whole and the most important is that it not even make us feel or realize that WE are wasting out prcecious life in balming others all the time and atlast when we realize that it only WE are responsible for all the MESS that happen to our life then time has slip from our hand and we becomed helpless.
So better to ACCEPT instead of BLAMING others.
I agree, Meg. Blaming others can feel good at the time, but there comes a point when we realize that it’s a vicious circle of blaming and staying stuck. Moving forward requires the acceptance of responsibility for all areas of our life… good and bad!
Thanks for the comment!
Yes, Meg… accept responsibility and learn from all that happens to us. Always ask yourself, “How can i do this better in the future” or “What led to this result in my life?”
These kinds of questions will quickly shift you from blaming to acceptance.
Mine are the failures i’ve done in my college days wherein I let all temptations conquer my studies and it indeed manage to infiltrate my focus to studies, but the good side of it is that I have ventured to another path where I become more keen to other stuff around me.
Well, there are a lot of things in life that triggers our success as well as our failures, its just a matter of how we are going to deal with it
True enough, Kennedy!
Yes, accept, don’t blame. Everything that happens to us is a result of a path we have chosen.
Hi Herbert11
We all learn from mistakes in our early years…. I know I made my share of mistakes in my college days, as well.
The important thing is to keep moving forward, learn from those mistakes and become a better person for it.
Thanks for the comment!
That’s what keeping me moving on.
Thanks for the response Sir Bob 😀
You’re welcome, Herbert!
It’s great that you’ve learned from your past mistakes, Herbert. That’s what its all about.
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