complainers imageHave you ever noticed how the World today is packed with negative entitlement seekers who spend most of their time complaining about what they don’t have, and the rest of their time complaining about what they do have?

Maybe it’s the state of the economy, but I don’t think so.

Maybe its the high unemployment rate or high cost of consumer goods that has brought out the complainer in everyone, but somehow I think these same people will find just about anything to complain about.

The other day, I took notice of who I encountered during my day.

  • I walked behind a well dressed gentleman strolling with a beautiful woman on his arm, and listened as he complained about the weather, the impending winter and the lack of freshness in the fruit he just purchased.
  • I sat next to an older woman on the subway who was complaining about the crowded conditions and the dirtiness of the cars, wondering why we were paying so much more for a subway fare.
  • I listened to my coworkers complain about our boss, the busy workload and the measly amount of their pay.
  • I attended church and listened to a young child in the pew in front of me complaining to his mom about being bored and hungry.

Everywhere I turned, it seemed I was surrounded my negativity and complaining.

Where does a guy have to go nowadays to meet some positive, forward-thinking people?

This is important.

I am currently listening to a recording of The Slight Edge for the 3rd time and one of the most important Slight Edge philosophies is this–

I paraphrase….

You are who you hang out with.

Wow.

Think about that!

If you’re like me, you want more out of your life.  You want to have the life of your dreams.

Maybe it’s your goal to build a thriving home business and say adios to your boss.  Or maybe you aspire to be a best selling author or sought after speaker.

Or maybe you just aspire to be happy.

How the heck are we supposed to do that when all around us, we are surrounded by negative people who spend their time complaining and being UNhappy?

Where have all the positive thinkers gone?

Where Can You Turn?

If you’re really lucky, you have some of those positive thinkers, the go getters already in your World who you can surround yourself with.

But if you’re like me, you don’t.  I am surrounded by entitlement seekers and complainers throughout my day.

So where do you turn?

I can only tell you what has worked for me.

I turned to the Internet.

I turned to Social Media.

I turned to Facebook.

Many people think of Facebook as a place to keep in touch with their friends or even meet someone new.  But I use Facebook in a very different way.

I use Facebook for their Groups.

If you are looking for some people with like interests to share ideas, chances are high you’ll find these people in a Facebook Group.

If you’re like me and you want to surround yourself with positive, forward thinking entrepreneurs who don’t let anything get in their way, there are Facebook Groups for you, too.

One of my favorites is called The Relational Marketers Facebook Group, created by an amazing entrepreneur, Emma Tiebens.

People in this group understand that marketing starts and ends with the heart, and you won’t find a negative person in the bunch.

Members share positive quotes and uplifting stories.  They also seek help with obstacles they are facing and people are quick to help find potential solutions.

It’s just a very uplifting, powerful place to hang out!

The Relational Marketers Facebook Group is one that I particularly love, but there are many others that may fit your needs as well.

My advice is to head over to Facebook, click on Groups and search for some that fit your interests.

If you’re having a hard time surrounding yourself with the kind of people who will help you move forward in your life, if your “friends” want you to stay stuck just where you are so you can commiserate and complain, there are alternatives… there is hope.

Head on over to your favorite social media platform and find a group of likeminded people or, better yet people who already have what you seek.

That’s how we create the greatest personal growth.

Bob Clarke
Dr. Bob Clarke teaches Part Time Marketers how to better leverage their time, effort, money, skills, and other people's knowledge in maximizing their business success. Don't forget to grab your Free Training Grow a Thriving Business in 30 Minutes/Day or Less -- an essential resource for anyone struggling to build their business Part Time.
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Showing 33 comments
  • tanvir
    Reply

    yes there are people who have that …..
    nice post thanx for sharing it 😀

    • Bob
      Reply

      I know there are many positive people left! In fact, I spent the weekend with a dozen of them at an event.

      The trick is to move ourselves away from the negative and towards the positive.

  • Michael
    Reply

    People never value the things that they currently have until they have lost it. It’s easy to complain. Everyone wants to be better looking, richer and well known. And if they get the things that they have wanted to achieve, it’s a problem again. People are never always happy and never will be.

  • Audrey Ross
    Reply

    This is very interesting. I see a lot of people who like to complain about things as well. I’m not sure if they are aware of it but most of the time it feels like they’re enjoying it. I guess it’s not really complaining but it’s probably because these things create an interesting discussion. Well, it sure does create a negative aura nevertheless.

  • karen
    Reply

    Nice blog..You had a great observation.I love that you are reading, learning and growing in your life. We’ll all raise each other up together.

    • Bob
      Reply

      Thanks, Karen.

  • Nicky
    Reply

    I think when you are surrounded by negativity, you believe it to be the norm. Certainly when Mums in the school playground, you want to fit in and so you empathize with them and find yourself doing it too. Once I started my business online and surrounded myself with positivity, I noticed I became very intolerant of negative people who persisted in staying that way. I have no room in my life for some of these people, and for those that I still meet in the playground, I just smile and change the subject when it gets negative!
    Great post Bob.

    • Bob
      Reply

      That’s so true, Nicky…. when we begin to grow the past ways become undoable, and this is especially true with negativity. I found myself spending less and less time with friends who are negative. It wasn’t any big momentous decision…. it just happened over time as I became more positive.

      Thanks for sharing your experiences!

  • The GREAT Edward
    Reply

    Hi Dr. Bob,

    Great post. With all of the stimulus of the world that is striving for our share of mind, we can easily get bombarded with Negative people and thoughts thinking that they are the only ones around. Having specific communities, groups, and places to retreat to in order to keep you focused on the positive aspect of life is very important. I use some specific groups on Facebook and other social media sites, as well as the communities of people around me that are striving for something bigger and better in their lives.

    Congrats on your success.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Blessings,

    • Bob
      Reply

      Thanks Edward! For me, the Internet has been so instrumental in finding like minded entrepreneurs who share my passion and positive outlook. As you said, there are great groups on various social media platforms to choose from. You sometimes have to dig a little, but usually I find them through a recommendation of a friend. That’s why I recommended The Relational Marketers FB group. It’s a great starting point and one can then get to know others and find their favorite entrepreneurial groups.

      Appreciate you sharing your insights, Edward. Welcome to the blog!

  • Tom Brady
    Reply

    Dr. Bob,

    I loved this post! I feel the same way as we are surrounded everywhere by negative people. In fact your post made me think as to where the positive people are in my life and they are online with me!

    Great Post

    Tom

    • Bob
      Reply

      Hey Tom,

      It’s funny — our online friends are often among the most positive. I guess that’s because it’s easier to find where they hang out online!

      Thanks for sharing your experiences, Tom!

  • Sonia
    Reply

    Negative people are just miserable, plain and simple. Sure, there are many factors that make them that way, but some people actually can’t be happy unless they make you miserable too. Weird as it sounds, when I see people like that coming my way, it’s like seeing a “dark cloud” following them everywhere they go. Anything that can go wrong does and I simply want the hell out of there. Another reason I try to avoid people who are pessimistic.

    When I got into blogging I can’t count how many positive people I have had the pleasure of networking with and the continued inspiration they all give me. It’s what drives me to keep going and to remember to give back to those just starting out. I have a relative that told me once, “If you hang out with trash, you will be trash”. I never forgot that and I can’t count how many times I have preached that to my little brother. Thankfully he has a great set of friends and enjoys his life. Great post and thanks for reminding us that we have so much the be thankful for and how wonderful life really is.

    • Bob
      Reply

      Haha Sonia… I preach the same thing to my kids on a regular basis (I hope it’s getting through!). We tend to rise to the level of our 5 closest friends, it is said.

      If that’s true (and I believe it is) then it’s imperative that we surround ourselves with positive, enthusiastic people who believe in themselves. Thank God for my favorite peeps in my life, all of whom I found online!

  • VaNessa Duplessie
    Reply

    Me Bob. ME! I want to hang around with you. As you may know I strive to be positive 99.9% of the time. It want to be a positive voice for entrepreneurs and I want to be around postitive people. I believe positivity comes from mindset and it all starts there. Without a postitive mindset and belief system you draw to you what you think and believe. Bob, you are a positive person and I am glad to know you. I love that you are reading, learning and growing in your life. We’ll all raise each other up together. Great summation. V-

    • Bob
      Reply

      Hi VaNessa,

      Thank you! I can say the same about you. Meeting you online and hanging out in your private FB group has been so rewarding for me, both in what I am learning and the positivity that exudes from the people in the group. Thanks very much for including me!

      Appreciate your insights, VaNessa!

  • debbie turner
    Reply

    Emma is a great role model for positive movement forward!

    I think so many people are so down and because they hang with those who are down, they dont’ give themselves a chance to look up and see they have options.

    I have such low (no) tolerance for whiners and complainers that when any conversation goes that way, I ususally end it in the following 10 seconds.

    We have such opportunties. The problem for most I think is the hard work it takes to change ourselves, our thinking and then not be lazy in this fast food, instant gratification society we live in.

    Great write up.

    Debbie

    • Bob
      Reply

      Well said, Debbie… I’m not sure what else I can add, except THANKS for sharing your insights!

  • Adrienne
    Reply

    Wonderful message you shared with us today Bob. I understand where you are coming from.

    I have ended a couple very long-term friendships over their negativity. It just seemed to grow worse as the years went by and they didn’t want to deal with any issues we would have. I made a conscious decision over six years ago to end one 27 year friendship and one year later I ended a 25 year friendship.

    As you clearly stated, it’s bad enough you encounter those people in your workplace and even on your rides to and from work. You certainly don’t need it in your life coming from the people who you are the closest to.

    Since venturing online myself I have met some of the most positive human beings on this planet. They live all over the world too and have reached out their hand for support as well as friendship. I’ve met the majority of my connections through blogging but Facebook is also a great place to meet others as well. I may have to drop in on the group you mentioned. Would love to connect with others who are as positive minded as you.

    Thank you again for sharing this message and hope you two are having a wonderful day!

    ~Adrienne

    • Bob
      Reply

      Hi Adrienne, welcome back… great to see you again.

      Your message is uplifting and yes… positive! But that doesn’t surprise me, you’re one of the most positive people I’ve met online. You’re right, it’s difficult when the most negative people in your life are negative. My dad (one of the best dads you could hope for) was unfortunately a fairly negative person (although he called it “being realistic”). It made it hard for he and I to continue our strong bond later in life as I began to grow, but we talked about it and managed to have a very close relationship until he passed away. He tried so hard to be positive around me!

      Thanks for your contributions here, Adrienne!

  • Will
    Reply

    I am glad you shared about this group. I think this is great place to hear a lot of great ideas on entrepreneurship. I can relate to hearing a lot of complaints in every place we turn. It is important that we find a place or a group that we can hear positive thoughts. These can help a lot on how we live or look at life.

    • Bob
      Reply

      Hi Will,

      You’re welcome and I hope to see you in The Relational Marketers FB group!

  • Emma Tiebens
    Reply

    Wow Bob and Rosemary.. thank you so much for featuring our BELOVED The Relational Marketers Group on this post! We appreciate having you there tremendously! I look forward to all of us supporting each other for a very long time… and as always, I’m “Cheering You On To Your Success!” ;).

    • Bob
      Reply

      Thank you for your mentorship, Emma. Your support and “cheering us on” helps us beyond words.

      Appreciate the kind words!

  • Timo Kiander
    Reply

    Bob,

    Great article and thanks for sharing this resource!

    It is true that negativity can be contagious. That’s why it is important to find the like-minded people that make you feel good and that you are in the right place.

    Negativity is destructive.

    Timo

    • Bob
      Reply

      I know that we are like minded Timo, so it doesn’t surprise me that you were drawn to this post. You’re so right that negativity can be very destructive, both to our minds and our bodies (in the form of stress related illnesses). Thank Goodness that I’ve found all these wonderful entrepreneurs and friends like yourself online!

      Appreciate your comment, Timo!

  • Herbert
    Reply

    The usual reason people always complain is because they are not happy or not content with something. Since social networks is very rampant nowadays, this networks are the common channel for those people esp facebook 🙂

    • Bob
      Reply

      I agree Herbert.. you can find just as many negative people online as positive… there are plenty of “gripe groups” online… you just need to hunt for the positive ones!

  • Oliver Tausend
    Reply

    Hi Bob,

    powerful stuff, thanks for sharing. Complaining is a habit, just as being happy is a habit. You are right that it can be difficult sometimes to find people who have a positive outlook on life despite all individual or global problems we might have. It starts with recognizing a problem as an opportunity to grow. On the other hand, the crowd of negative thinkers are a huge target market. Of course, we can’t force them to be happy. But some of them might make the decision to change their outlook, those are the volunteers I’m ready and willing to help – people who say “I can’t go on like that.”

    Thanks also for sharing Emma’s group, I will check it out.

    Be blessed

    Oliver

    • Emma Tiebens
      Reply

      Hi Oliver! Great observation on: ” the crowd of negative thinkers are a huge target market. Of course, we can’t force them to be happy. But some of them might make the decision to change their outlook, those are the volunteers I’m ready and willing to help – people who say “I can’t go on like that.” Sometimes, they just don’t know what they don’t know, right? Yes, do come by! I believe a mutual friend is one of our active contributors, Rowena Bolo… Take care, Oliver! Emma 😉

      • Oliver Tausend
        Reply

        Hi Emma,

        thanks for your reply. So true: We don’t know what we don’t know…

        And yes, of course, Rowena is a good friend of mine (Today’s her birthday btw)

        I just applied for the group on FB.

        Be blessed

        Oliver

        • Bob
          Reply

          I LOVE Rowena! She is so positive and a great friend as well. Happy Belated Birthday, Rowena!

    • Bob
      Reply

      I love that Oliver — “recognizing a problem as an opportunity to grow”…. if a person can make that shift in perspective, their world would become much brighter. But like you said, negativity can become a habit and habits can be tough to break. That’s why a strong mentor or group of friends who think positively goes a long way to helping in that transformation.

      Thanks for sharing your insights, Oliver!

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