I couldn't figure it out.
I'd been marketing online for a few years.
- I sold a product that I believed in 100%.
- I'd taken all the trainings and learned all the skills.
- I worked with some of the best teachers in the Industry.
And yet, major success ELUDED me.
Sure, I made a few bucks here and there…
brought on some team members and sold some affiliate products.
But all in all…
My online success didn't come close to my expectations.
I was at a loss.
I'd see other, less knowledgable marketers making a killing online.
I'd see people who'd been working in the Industry far less than me
scaling the leader boards of their companies…
While I struggled just to break even every month.
Like I said, I just couldn't figure it out.
Have you ever felt that way?
If you have, you know that it's a pretty LONELY place…
I felt lost, frustrated, confused and yes….
pretty darn angry.
Then I met a guy.
His name is Larry Hochman…
a very unassuming guy, quiet, kind of laid back.
As we started talking,
I told him about my struggles, and his ears perked up.
He listened to my story, asked some good questions,
and in less than 15 minutes…
he had me NAILED.
Larry said, “I want you to read this book, I think it will help”.
So I got on my computer and grabbed the book.
It's called “How To Receive”,
and slowly but surely…
this book has begun to change me in a very profound way.
You see, what was stopping me was not my knowledge,
it wasn't my dedication, my desire, or my “Why”.
I struggled with my ability to RECEIVE MONEY from people.
You might think that's crazy…
Who wouldn't want someone to give them money?
Who wouldn't want to win the Lottery?
But it's not the same when you are accepting money from someone who expects value in return.
Phrases like…
“I don't know enough”,
“I've got nothing to offer others”,
and “I'm only a Part Time Marketer, I can't compete” swirled in my head,
thwarting my success.
I was totally devaluing my time and minimizing my impact on others.
I would charge people $10 when I should have been charging $100 or even $1000.
Because of my mistaken belief that others always knew more than I did.
That my time wasn't worth much to others,
and that I wouldn't make a good enough coach or sponsor.
In How to Receive, Larry took me through a series of short and simple exercises,
to get me used to receiving.
I'll tell you about one of my favorites.
Giving money away.
I know, you're probably thinking something like,
“how could giving money away help someone who has trouble receiving money? It's the direct opposite!”
That's what I thought at first, too.
But as Larry explained, “Giving and Receiving are two balanced sides of the same energy exchange”.
If you give reluctantly, it stands to reason that you will receive reluctantly as well.
And so I gave.
I didn't want to just give money to charities, although there are many worthwhile causes.
Besides, I was already doing that.
I wanted to give money to people in my town who needed it.
Many have been hit hard by the struggling economy, some lost their jobs and have yet to find another.
So I began leaving money where they would find it.
Just a dollar here and a dollar there.
$5 a week to start…
I know that the same dollar bill that I often spent mindlessly on a cup of coffee or a soft drink would mean a hundred times more to someone who has very little income.
And it makes me feel GOOD, really good.
I'm starting to chip away at my inability to receive.
And I began eliminating certain words from my vocabulary…
words like CAN'T, SHOULD and TAKE are now replaced with CAN, WILL and ACCEPT.
It turns out my mind was setting me up for failure… I was literally thinking my way out of money.
The simple words I was telling myself, hundreds of times a day,
had me convinced that I wasn't worthy.
NOW I KNOW….
- I am worthy.
- I can do whatever I choose to do.
- I know enough to help others in a very significant way.
It's hard to put a dollar figure on how much this booked has helped me.
Yes, I am making more money in my business than before,
but it's the EASE at which I am accepting it that startles me.
- No longer is it a struggle to charge someone for my time and accept money.
- No longer do I feel inadequate to coach someone to success.
- No longer do I feel I don't measure up to my competitors.
And this is just the start….
So here's what I want you to do.
Go meet Larry.
He's a really cool guy and has amazing talents when it comes to helping people through struggles.
And he's an amazing juggler, too.
When you meet Larry, it all makes sense.
Go meet Larry over on Facebook or at his website, No More Holding Back.
And while you're there, grab a copy of How To Receive, especially if you're struggling in areas of your life and you don't know why.
(not an affiliate link, it's just something I know will help you out).
It's a great read.
For some, it's a MUST read.
21 replies to "Do You Have Trouble Receiving Money?"
Hello Bob
This post is 100% earning and learning and it is also introduction of a milestone person and that it is also a review of productive book
Hello Bob!
As expected your always doing a good job of producing quality and helpful post here in your blog. Just keep up the good work and surely people will keep returning as they will know that they will learn something new after reading it.
Thanks!
Thanks for the kind words and support, Ivan.
Appreciate that.
You definitely have me interested. I guess I’ll go now and see Larry! Thanks Dr. Bob!
Go check him out NOW, Holzprofi… he’s doing some really amazing things over there.
Bob, thanks for the share…a lot of us really struggle to find a foothold in the online business space, quit easily and place blame elsewhere as you mentioned. Agree with you that mindset is critical, it can make or break things. Its essential to believe in oneself and then only others start to believe in you…Will have a look at Larry’s book this weekend for sure…
If you’re doing all the right things but still struggling, there’s a good chance that your mindset has something to do with it. Larry’s book will definitely help.
Terrific! You tapped into a fear I can certainly relate to but hate to admit. It starts with that defeatist thinking that someone else knows more than me… so how could I possibly charge them for something I’m doing?? I can tell you I’ve had many of those moments…. holy crap, how can I charge someone for doing this?? I don’t know anything!
It takes a lot for me to give myself credit for something. It’s funny but in addition to figuring out how to provide value to customers, you really have to figure out how to value what you do enough to consider it valuable!
Part of that comes from people always price shopping. You give someone a price, they complain, so you second guess yourself and wonder maybe it’s not really worth what you’re asking for after all. But as you say, once you realize you’re worthy, that all changes. Good stuff, thanks for your inspiration Bob!
I think we all tend to undervalue our services and to minimize our knowledge, Carol. Think of what YOU paid to procure that knowledge? For me, it was in the THOUSANDS! That’s the way I look at it now… how much I’m actually saving someone by giving them the benefit of what I’ve learned by paying for it.
Appreciate the comment!
Are you in my head Bob. I was recently struggling with this very same thing as you probably already know by now.
I’ve never had to ask for money before, not in this way so it’s a hard area to break through.
I actually met Larry online before I met Diane and I agree, he’s a really cool guy and knows his stuff. I may have to check out his book, you’ve got me curious now. I have no doubt that whatever barriers I may have left in this area that would help break down those walls. I’ve come a long way but I still feel like I have a ways to go yet.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us Bob, great message.
~Adrienne
Larry taught some more stuff this week at Diane’s event.. he is so cool. You should definitely check out his book if you feel this is still an area that needs work.
I wrote this post because I knew I wasn’t alone, and from the response I received, it seems that MOST of us struggle with accepting money, at least at first. Which is funny in a way, because I for one never struggled with accepting a pay check from an employer. But accepting money from a client seems to be a different animal.
Thanks for the comment, my friend.
Will you be in Orlando in 2 weeks? If so, we’ll finally all get a chance to meet in person!
Wow, Bob, I could resonate 110% with your post.
Like you am I now healed, but gosh, was accepting money a huge deal for me. You see I grew up with a mother who loved to give but just couldn’t receive. When you grow up seing this just about every day of your young life it’s bound to mark you good. And it did.
I remember years ago a friend of mine looked at me in the eye one day and said to me “Sylviane you have a problem with money”! And she meant just that. I had a huge problem accepting money and while I am still working on it, it’s got much, much better.
Thank you for introducing us to this book, Bob. I love these types of readings and will check it out!
I’m so glad you confronted this, Sylviane.. it can disable your business for sure.
Appreciate the comment!
Hi Bob,
What a great message! There are so many people who feel this way. I did back in the day. I had the same problem. I was under-selling my services. I learned by a great mentor that actually had me in tears, pushing me to my limits. I will never forget what he said. It went something like this: If you are helping someone and are doing it for free, that person will not value it. If you put a price on it, they pay you, then it becomes valuable.
That was a great AHA moment for me. I felt the same way as you mentioned above. There were people better than me, more educated then me…bla bla bla!
I got over it, but the road wasn’t easy. I undervalued myself since I was born. But now I know my value.
As for giving money away. That is something we all need to do. I have a few charities that take money out of my bank each month. But that’s not all. If I come across someone that is in dire need of help in my path, I do give money away.
For those who think they don’t have the money to give away, I always advise them to give time. When I volunteered at a local food pantry because I wanted to get involved with my community, it was one of the best times in my life. The simple pleasure of packing potatoes, knowing that someone will be nourished by this was a great feeling. When the lines came in for their food, I started conversing with some people. There were moms, vets, etc. Sometimes a simple smile can be given to someone. O.K. I’ll stop the novel here.
But I know the mechanics of it and it works! Going over to Facebook now!
Donna
It’s so true what you say… when something is free it is undervalued… and when you put a price on it, people rave how valuable it is.
I love your philosophies on giving away money, Donna… too many people (including me back in the day) would look at a homeless person and look down on them. We all know in today’s economy that many people are not far from being homeless.. just one layoff away. So I also try to give them a hand when I can.
Thanks for the great comment, Donna.
What a great story and post! It’s amazing how much people can relate with this.. Seems that the underlying factor with all the stories of struggle and frustration always point back to one thing – “Mindset”.. We must always guard our thoughts, for it determines where we are or end up.. Thanks for sharing =)
Mindset is essentially the key reason why most people quit, in my opinion. The skills can be learned, but if you suffer from a poor philosophy you either change it or you quit. It’s easier for most to quit and place blame elsewhere, unfortunately.
Thanks for the comment, Greg.
Awesome Post, Bob!
I had this challenge early on in my Entrepreneurial Journey until I came to the realization that I AM Worthy because I’m ordained by GOD. I love how T.Harv Ecker, Author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind,” put it..”We have to stop waiting on other human beings to ordain us and give us permission to step into our Greatness and ordain ourselves. Thanks for sharing, Doc.
To Your Infinite Success,
Marquel Russell
Great quote and great book, Marquel… thanks for reminding me to dust it off and read it again.
I am honestly a bit amazed at the response this post has received, with people telling me that they too suffered (or suffer) from the same problem.
It can stop you cold if you don’t handle it. Glad you got through it and are prospering now.
Thanks for the comment, Marquel!
Hi Bob,
We have been following your “travels” for a while now and have to admit that over the years we have seen quite a transformation in your story, your ability to help others and the vast amount of value that you bring to the table.
We have struggled just as you have, and there were times that we would practically give our services away because we thought that we were not good enough. We finally got a few very important clients that needed website designs and SEO and we solved a ongoing problem that they had. One of our most successful projects was with a Marine Corps group out of St Louis, we learned a ton as a team, and we had great success.
Our biggest success was just having the mindset that we would be successful and we would have a great partner moving forward and we did. Attitude was a huge determining factor.
Thank you for the great post, it reminds us to continue to learn, be humble and find ways to help others!
It seems we have been watching each other climb the success ladder, Robert.
I remember seeing you online a couple of years ago and now look at you! You guys are doing extraordinary things!
It really does come down to mindset. Many of us have the skills necessary to succeed and make a difference to others, but we lack the belief and confidence to take it up a notch.
Thanks for the comment, Robert!