Fear of rejection is often identified as one of the main reasons that newcomers fail in Network Marketing.  Just the thought of the scowl of a skeptical “prospect” or being hung up on by angry leads not wanting to be disturbed at home is enough to make anyone’s mouth go dry.

Overcoming the fear of rejection is essential  if you’re going to succeed in Network Marketing or any business related to sales.

struggle in overcoming the fear of rejectionIt’s not easy; in fact, it can be paralyzing.

Ever heard of someone saying that their phone felt like it weighed a ton, because they were afraid of being rejected on their next cold call?

Or someone who stammers and stutters during a business presentation to potential clients?

It all has to do with a fear of rejection.

Overcoming the Fear of Rejection:  3 Questions

There are complete books written on this subject, but I can only tell you what has worked for me over my 53 years of this Earth.

Mind you, what I am about to describe to you is not a strategy that came to me easily. Rather, it has evolved over a period of many years… and many instances where I let the fear of rejection stop me from pursuing dreams and desires.

Here is my formula for overcoming the fear of rejection.

It consists of 3 simple questions:

1.  What’s the worst that can happen if I try… and fail?

2.  What’s the biggest upside if I try… and succeed?

3.  How much will I regret it if I never try?

These 3 questions changed my life.

When I take the time to sit down, analyze my fear and answer these 3 questions, I almost always come to the conclusion that the feeling of regret will far outweigh any potential feelings of rejection.

Let me give you a specific example that happened very recently.

Overcoming the Fear of Rejection:  My Story

I recently have started blogging very seriously.  I’ve always enjoyed blogging as a way to have my voice heard and connect with others, but in recent months I’ve decided to take it to another level.

I’ve decided to make it one of the major ways I brand myself and market my products.

To make a long story short, I’ve become a student of blogging.  I’ve learned from some of the best by taking their trainings.

I’ve implemented what I learned to make some serious improvements in my blog and my blogging, and as a result my blog’s popularity (both with readers and with the search engines) has increased tremendously over the last month.

Now it’s time to take it up a notch… to do what it takes to really make my blog standout as a “go to resource” in my niche.

One of the best ways to accomplish this is through GUEST BLOGGING…. writing a post on another person’s blog (of higher authority) and getting links — and readers back to your own blog in the process.

But the idea of it, the idea of getting rejected by the other blog owners and by their readers stopped me dead in my tracks.

I really struggled with self doubt, feelings of not being good enough to guest blog and fears of rejection and failure.

So I sat down and went through this 3-question process for overcoming my fear of rejection in this instance.

1.  What’s the worst that can happen?

The worst that can happen is that my blog post won’t be accepted by the blog owner and my request to blog post will be denied.  I might feel embarrassed about being rejected, especially if I ever meet that blog owner in person.

2.  What’s the biggest upside?

The biggest benefits to having a guest post published on a blog of high authority is “borrowing” traffic from the host blog by getting links back to my own blog.  This will likely mean a huge spike in my blog’s traffic, high quality incoming links to my blog that the search engines will love, and quite possibly a new set of subscribers for my blog.  In addition,  maybe this would be the start of a great relationship with another top quality blogger and even the possibility of an eventual joint venture.

3.  How much will I regret it if I never try?

My sense of regret will be high, because looking at the possible best- and worst-case scenarios, there’s a much bigger upside than downside to writing a guest blog post.

There you have it — the 3-step process that you can use for overcoming the fear of rejection in all aspects of your business.

Don’t let the fear of rejection stop you from your dreams.

Now, I’m off to write my Guest Blog Post!  🙂

Now It’s Your Turn

Now I turn it over to you guys… what’s your story of dealing with rejection?

How do you deal with this fear… and more importantly, how do you overcome it?

LEAVE A COMMENT below and join in the discussion.

And if you found this useful, please SHARE IT with your circle of friends on the social networks!

Bob Clarke

Dr. Bob Clarke teaches Part Time Marketers how to better leverage their time, effort, money, skills, and other people’s knowledge in maximizing their business success. Don’t forget to grab your Free Training Grow a Thriving Business in 30 Minutes/Day or Less — an essential resource for anyone struggling to build their business Part Time.

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Showing 48 comments
  • Aime Jones
    Reply

    Hi Bob

    Thanks for this awesome article !

    You always need to accept rejection for ensuring success in your future.

    Regards

  • lhaizza
    Reply

    It’s better to try than to do nothing at all.

  • Ida Bosa
    Reply

    I fear of rejection because I am afraid that people surrounds me would not accept for who really am I but I came to a point Bob to face and overcome this fear by putting myself into positive and avoiding myself to think others what would they say about me. When I am about to overcome this fear I feel happiness. Thank you so much for this great insights ever!

  • Ana
    Reply

    Or… start a business that doesn’t require any human interaction. LOL

    I think the same principles go for anything in life, Bob; thanks for sharing your view on the topic.

    Ana

    PS I don’t know how I missed your blog, but I am adding it to my new CommentLuv enabled blog list!

  • Audrey Ross
    Reply

    Everybody has this fear and sadly, this is what causes most of us to not achieve the most out of our potential. One thing we can learn from the great Steve Jobs (RIP) is his perception of death. Most of his decisions, he said, came from the thinking that he is going to die soon. Having this mindset clears away fear of rejection, pride, embarrassment, etc. I think this is genius. People who are about to die don’t feel any of these negative thoughts. Rather, they try to make the most out of the time that’s left for them. I think this is what life is all about – making the most out of it.

  • Emma Green
    Reply

    Great Insights Bob, Rejection is just always a part of my life. I admit that i always feel rejection especially in blogging but I’ll just laugh at them and learn from them. Rejection for me is all about learning because when someone rejects you, you learn how to be more stronger. Well, thanks Bob for sharing this I appreciate it very much!

    • Bob
      Reply

      You’re welcome, Emma… you have a very healthy approach. The truth is we ALL experience rejection of some sort on a regular basis. As you said, it’s how you interpret and learn from that rejection that will be the difference.

  • Emma
    Reply

    Rejection is normal to life, whatever you do you experience rejection, you don’t have to fear it at all. I’m new to blog and unfortunately I’ve experience rejections from other people and it seems they don’t like me, it hurts actually and it gonna makes you weak but I easily ignore them and start all over and all over again. Rejecton is part of growing up.

    Thanks Bob, for this great insights.

    • Bob
      Reply

      Hi Emma,

      You are right about rejection being everywhere, but you have a great attitude. When you are rejected or otherwise put off, try again and move forward. Consistency and persistence are the key to success in almost all areas of life.

  • Bob
    Reply

    Thanks for the kind words, Will. We figure that if someone takes the time out of their busy day to make a comment, the least we can do is acknowledge the effort.
    And most times our commenters have some really interesting and inspiring things to share!

    Nice job replying to all your birthday well wishers. I’m sure it made a difference to them. Most times people just send a blanket “thanks for everyone” FB post… your effort was much more personal!

    Appreciate the comment, Will.

  • Cyn P.
    Reply

    It’s true what you have said in your article.
    I have my own article on Overcoming the Fear of Rejection as well…

    • Bob
      Reply

      Hi Cyn, welcome!

      Fear of rejection is something that stopped me for a long time. It is a powerful emotion that goes right to the core of feeling accepted and good about yourself. But when a fear of rejection stops you from achieving great things in your life, it’s time to change things.

      I’ll definitely go check out your article, Cyn!

      Thanks for stopping by!

  • David
    Reply

    “What’s the worst that can happen?” is the question other people will always ask you, but “How much will I regret being a Putz?” is the question to ask yourself that is most likely to kick a person in his own seat when he really needs it.

    • Bob
      Reply

      Hi David, welcome to the blog!

      Regret is a very powerful emotion, for sure. Early in my life I lived my life, often feeling regret for things not tried because I didn’t have the self confidence. As I got older, I began to figure “what the heck!” and do things even if I was pretty sure I would fail. And you know what? Many times I didn’t fail but made great strides towards my life goals.

      Thanks for your insights, David! Hope to see you here again soon!

  • Mavis Nong
    Reply

    Hi Dr Clarke,

    These are great questions, indeed. For me, the last question is very powerful: How much will I regret if I never try?

    I believe in letting go of your fears and take up a new challenge – you’ll never know what will come out of it.

    I’m proud of you for mustering up the courage and dive into it – way to go! I look forward to your guest post. I’m sure it’s going to be awesome, I enjoy reading your articles 🙂

    Thanks for sharing your insights, Dr Clarke.

    All the best,
    Mavis

    • Bob
      Reply

      Hi Mavis!

      It’s great to see you here again! I agree — the 3rd question on Regret is the most powerful of the 3. What is the old saying? “It’s better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.”

      How often do we hold ourselves back because we are too afraid to even try? Regret is a very powerful emotion.

      Thanks for your insights, Mavis. See you again soon!

  • Wade Balsdon
    Reply

    This is a good strategy to adopt Bob. Thanks for sharing.

    • Bob
      Reply

      Glad you got something out of it, Wade.

      Welcome to the blog! Look forward to seeing you again.

  • Heather C Stephens
    Reply

    Hi Dr. Bob,

    First of all, welcome to the club. I don’t know a guest blogger who didn’t fear rejection. I also had a major sense of stage fright the first time I submitted a post and it was published. I knew it was a much bigger audience and I was scared to death that they were going to want to throw rotten tomatoes at me! It went well, and I received many great comments. Everyone was encouraging and welcoming.

    I’m proud of you, like I am for anyone who stretches their comfort zone. We have to learn to be comfortable playing in that area just outside our comfort zone where we are nervous, because that is where growth happens.

    Great job. You’re welcome to guest post for CleverMarketer anytime you’d like! 🙂

    Heather

    • Bob
      Reply

      Thanks for your kind words of encouragement, Heather! Coming from you, they mean a lot!

      I am writing the first Guest Blog right now, and I will definitely keep Clever Marketer in mind for my next one!

      Thanks for stopping by, Heather!

  • Jane
    Reply

    Hey Bob,

    Fear surrounds us all over and it is ready to come right at us anytime. It is the way we overcome the fear that makes us what we are and what our position is in the society. The fear of failure is the biggest possible fear that I have come across in my life and I should say that it took me some while to get over with it.

    Nowadays, if I start doing it anyway, I see that my fear of failure disappears. It is only when I keep the task on the queue and think too much, it takes more time to get over with the fear. It is exactly how I started guest posting and now that I have many guest posts repeatedly on A-List blogs including Problogger, I don’t know what fear of failure is, in this context.

    At the same time it doesn’t mean that I can be careless and do things carelessly. I put in all the care and effort just minus the fear.

    Cheers,
    Jane.

    • Bob
      Reply

      Hi Jane,

      Thinking about it, I feel that a fear of failure and fear of rejection are born of the same family, except that possibly a fear of rejection is more personal (since it may involve another person). Congrats on finding your strategy for overcoming that fear in your life… it is a precious skill to have! You’re right, Jane — we all face fear of failure or rejection every day… only those that fight through it will excel to their fullest potential in life.

      Appreciate the comment, Jane. Thanks for stopping by once again!

  • Catherine Njoroge
    Reply

    I really like your article on overcoming rejection. True, True, True. I have had a similar problem and am glad to know that by venturing deep i stand to gain than loose. This is incredible. I would rather try and know i gave it my best other than regret and ask myself “What If”.

    • Bob
      Reply

      What a great response, Catherine…. “I would rather try and know i gave it my best other than regret and ask myself “What If”.” How powerful is that!

      Welcome to the blog. Hope to see you here often!

      Thanks for stopping by!

  • Justin
    Reply

    Hi Bob,
    I realize that the concept of fear is all in my head and in fact a limiting belief. It’s one thing to not do something because we are in danger but an entirely different thing when our fears/concerns are imaginary.

    I ask myself questions like you do when I feel imaginary fears stopping me from moving forward.

    • Bob
      Reply

      Hi Justin,

      Fear can be real or imagined, but it is always real in your mind. The trick is to “talk it out” with yourself by asking the very same questions I talk about and you use.

      Thanks for stopping by, Justin! Great to see you here.

  • Janet
    Reply

    Bob, aloha. So appreciate your post on this very important topic. In fact, I am gong to put it into my “Required Reading” folder for both new networker marketers as well as those who continue to struggle with this issue.

    Your 3 questions are perfect, Bob. Personally, I believe that you more often regret what you don’t do than what you do. Therefore, #3 resonates with me because I would rather “do” and know the outcome rather than endlessly wonder “what if” over something that cannot be changed.

    When you create and submit your guest post, Bob, as long as you feel good about the post, that’s all that matters. If the blogger “rejects” it there is no doubt that it was meant to be. Perhaps you will submit to another blogger with even better results. Or, you will post it on your own blog, a first time visitor who happens to be your ideal business partner stops by your blog, reads it and says, “OMG, after reading this I know Bob is exactly the person I want to partner with to build a business.”

    Bob, when I feel the lizard brain attempting to hold me back, I ask myself what’s the worst that could happen and how would I feel it . . . Once I have answered those two questions, I “get over it” and move forward.

    Kudos to you, Bob, for this Great Post! Aloha. Janet

    • Bob
      Reply

      Hi again Janet!

      First, I am honored to have a place in your coveted “Required Reading” folder! Thank you! 🙂

      Second, thanks for your support and encouragement about my first guest post. In going through my 3 question process I wrote about in this post, I have already mapped out “best and worst case scenarios” and know how I will hand each. That includes resubmitting somewhere else if its not accepted at first, or as you say putting it on my own blog.

      I appreciate the feedback and your insights. As always, its great to see you here!

  • Samantha Bangayan
    Reply

    Bob, I totally feel you with this one! This past month, I’ve been invited to guest blog twice, so it’s pushed me out there, but I had been sitting on the idea of guest blogging for months already!

    I love your three-step process. I think that it’s something we can apply to all of our fears. Looking back, I feel that I naturally went through a similar process in deciding to move to Peru. The feeling of regret would have been stronger if I had not done what I had feared.

    Please let me know about your first guest blog post, Bob! =) I can’t wait to comment on it and share it because I know it’ll be top-notch quality! =)

    • Bob
      Reply

      Hey Sam,

      Thanks for stopping by. It’s true what you say — you can use this process with any major decision in your life. I will let you know when the guest post goes live. There’s no turning back now!

      See you again soon,

      Bob

  • Devesh
    Reply

    Interesting Post Rob. I totally agree with you. Whenever i fear something i ask myself what’s the worst that can happen. Retweeted and submitted it to Blokube.

    Thanks for sharing this great post.

    ~Dev

    • Bob
      Reply

      Hi Dev,

      Thanks for sharing this with your extensive social media connections! I appreciate the support and kind words!

      Bob

    • Bob
      Reply

      Thanks for the encouragement, Dev. Appreciate the social “support”.

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Bob

  • Pinky Tan
    Reply

    The feeling of regret does outweigh rejection… most people are afraid of failure, because they didnt try…. yet in the end, they say to themselves, “what if..”… simple solution: just go go go! at least learning can be a part of failure. Nice article, Bob!

    • Bob
      Reply

      Welcome to our blog!

      I agree, regret is a very powerful emotion, one that most people surely wish to avoid. That’s why its so important to link your fears… fear of failure, fear of rejection, and even fear of success.. to subsequent regret if you don’t take action. As you say, the key is to GO!

      Thanks for your insights!

  • Jon
    Reply

    Bob that’s amazing. The feeling of regret ALWAYS outweighs that feeling or fear of rejection. I know that no matter how many times I was told (in past sales jobs) to “get over it” I just needed time. The more sales presentations I put on, the more comfortable I became in uncomfortable situations.

    It’s like anything, you just need practice. The greatest part? Soon you become so good at what you do that you don’t fear the “no” you just assume the “yes” by the end of the call/presentation.

    Jon

    • Bob
      Reply

      That’s very true, Jon.
      Many times we need to practice to get comfortable and hopefully we can detach from the result and just engulf ourselves in the PROCESS.

      That’s when you take huge strides in your business (or your sales quota!).

      Thanks for your insights, Jon!

  • Lou Barba
    Reply

    Hello Bob,

    At one point in my life, I was selling insurance and securities. Talk about learning about rejection! It wasn’t so much a fear of rejection, but the knowledge that I had to make sales or go broke…which I finally did. I promised my wife and myself I would never get in that situation again. So for me to sell stuff, I need to have something else going on, the sales go in the “gravy boat”. So I handle rejection by saying, “Oh well, at least I can still pay the bills.”

    Lou Barba

    • Bob
      Reply

      That certainly is one way to circumnavigate the issue of fear of rejection, Lou!

      When you need to take action or won’t be able to pay the bills, it puts it into a different perspective. Thanks for sharing this viewpoint!

      Appreciate the comment, Lou!

  • Catarina
    Reply

    Agree with you. Whenever I fear something I just ask myself what ‘s the worst that can happen. And it’s simply that things will just stay as they are right now.

    • Bob
      Reply

      Welcome Catarina!

      Yes, sometimes the worst that can happen is indeed that nothing will change. That’s when you KNOW you need to take action, even risks.

      Appreciate your comment. See you again soon, Catarina!

  • Dennis Edell
    Reply

    I’ve come to realize most people claiming to blog as a part time enthusiast “just for fun” are merely afraid to take it further…tweeted!

    • Bob
      Reply

      Hi Dennis,

      Appreciate the tweet! I agree — many people blow off the idea of taking things to the next level out of fear of failure or rejection. And that’s such a shame.

      Thanks for the comment, Dennis! See you again soon.

  • Oliver Tausend
    Reply

    Hi Bob,

    what a great way of dragging the fear-thing from the dark into the light. Fear loves nothing more than darkness and hates nothing more than light and clarity. Especially the last question is very powerful: How much will I regret if I never try ?

    Thanks for sharing your insights. I am sure you are a great guest blogger.

    Take care

    Oliver

    • Bob
      Reply

      Hi Oliver,

      Yes, I love that last question. Above all, we shouldn’t have regrets that we never tried! As the old saying goes, the only way you can truly fail is to never try. I try to live my life according to this.

      Thanks for the insight, Oliver. Great to see you here again!

  • Noela Miller
    Reply

    Dr Bob. You really put things into perspective. Fear of rejection has ALWAYS been my biggest bugbear. I know that using your simple 3 step strategy will help me build my business.

    • Bob
      Reply

      Glad your found this information useful, Noela. I am a natural procrastinator and find the fear of rejection is at the top of my list for procrastinating. So I’ve developed this 3 question formula out of necessity! 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by, Noela!

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