Maybe you've noticed.
I haven't been around much lately. Few blog posts, only a handful of Facebook status updates.
Sorry if I've disappointed you.
I'd love to tell you that I've been secluded in a cabin in the middle of nowhere preparing material that will knock your socks off.
But the truth is, I've been sucker-punched by life.
My Story
Sometimes a perfect storm of life's little surprises hits you all at once and knocks you right on your ass.
That's what's been happening to me the last few weeks.
It started around the middle of October when we had a falling out with the Network Marketing company we've been associated with for years.
We just didn't resonate with changes they'd made and started to question the value of the products to others, so we knew we needed to make a move.
We quit, leaving behind many friends and mentors who helped us get started in the industry. It was a difficult “break up” for me, and I was left feeling a bit empty and without direction for the first time in a long time.
Then early this month, I started having some health issues. It was one thing after another. Lately, I've been hit with the worst allergies I've ever had — like if I could take my eyeballs out of my head and scratch them from the inside, I would.
The doctor told me to take Benadryl.
It's helped, but it makes me really spacey and sleepy. I can't take it before work and still function, so I've had to take the medication after dinner.
As a result, my productivity has fallen way off.
I am sleeping way too much.
On a more personal note, my son left us last week to go live with his Mom in Pennsylvania. It's kind of a long story, but in a nutshell, after my divorce my kids weren't too excited to be with me. It seemed like the harder I tried the worse it got.
Finally, my son decided he wanted to go to school to become an auto mechanic. It just so happens that one of the best schools is miles from my home here in NJ, so we talked and he decided to live with us while attending school.
I was excited and making sure that Michael finished the Program became a passion for me. It wasn't so much that I was paying for his school that motivated me, but I knew that cars is his passion and this would really set him up in his career.
He finished school 3 weeks ago and left for PA on Friday. It feels weird not to have him around. I miss him a lot.
Why Am I Telling You All of This?
Here's the deal — life is gonna kick you in the butt at times and knock you off your feet. You are going to feel down and out.
You're gonna feel like giving up, curling up in a ball and going to sleep.
This is how I've been feeling lately, and I won't sugar coat it — it sucks!
But you can — AND MUST — break through it if you want to move forward.
Here are a few things that helped me get back into the groove:
1. I allowed myself to take a break. I tried pushing through it and keep working, but it just wasn't happening. Everything I did was mediocre. Give yourself a break and put things down for a while. Don't worry, it will all be there when you return.
2. I found inspiration in different places. Whether it's watching the sun rise over the ocean, catching the entire set of Rocky movies on DVD, listening to music that inspires you, or reading an inspirational book, find something that gets your blood moving again and makes you feel good about life again. When you're feeling down and out, finding anything that inspires you can help turn the tide.
3. Talk to a coach or mentor. I've preached to you many times on this blog about the importance of finding a mentor, and this is the time you can lean on them. I've had Skype conversations with a few of the trusted people who've served as my mentors and coaches over the years and each helped me in a small way to break out of my funk. Reach out and get some help. You don't need to work through everything alone.
I'm Hungry Again
The bad news is that most of the issues I talked about have not resolved, but I've worked through them to the point where I am hungry to move forward once again. It's a good feeling.
I've got a lot of things coming down the pike for you to look out for — a new free giveaway that will blow you away, a collaborative project that will feature some of the best bloggers in the blogosphere.
I will soon be rolling out my coaching/consulting program for those that want more personal help.
And who knows… maybe you'll even see my first product after the first of the year.
In short, I'm feeling like myself again.
Your Turn
What about you? Have you gone through periods where you wanted to quit and give up?
How did you get through it?
Leave a comment and tell us your story.
16 replies to "Sorry If I’ve Disappointed You"
Dear Bob,
I love that you take the time to communicate with your following like this. It all makes it even more “real” for us all to know that you’re a living, breathing man out there who takes life a day a time, just like the rest of us.
It’s easy for things here in webville to all fall into digital category where things can be a little less “personal” than our communications in a face to face kind of setting. I always find it cool to hear about the stuff that’s happening outside of what we assume is happening. 🙂
Glad to hear you’re revitalized and that you have some new sources of inspiration! You inspire me, Bob. Thanks for being you!
Have an awesome weekend, amigo!!
Cat Alexandra
I admire a person that knows when to say when. Sometimes business we work with others can at some point be the breaking point when we can’t find reason with it anymore. If you don’t believe in the changes with something, stick to your guns and do your own “thang”.
In regards to feeling sick I know the feeling allergies and it does suck! What I like most is that you gave yourself the time needed to rest and come back refreshed with a clear mind. I would never try and write a post feeling sick or tired because it won’t be my best post.
Hang in there with your son, in time, I am sure he appreciates all the things you have done for him and it will heal old wounds. I appreciate you sharing parts of your life with us. What a great community we have here and its people like you that make it that way.
You don’t have to apologize to nothing. You’ve helped a lot of people and inspired many. These challenges are what makes our life beautiful. Be strong my friend.
Bob- I can’t believe I didn’t find your blog sooner!
Totally connect with you on the part-time gig and I just LOVE how authentic and wonderful this post was. As I reader, I felt like I had stepped into your living room. That’s powerful stuff!
I have to “step away from the computer” every now and again as well. I know your readers missed you while you were gone, but sometimes we’ve got to do what we’ve got to do!
I wish you the very best of luck (though you don’t need luck) on your latest ventures! Looking forward to reading lots more from you!
Years ago I served in the military and just found it to be depressing, working in foreign countries, IRAQ, Kuwait, Korea, etc, etc. After getting out of the military it just seems as though a series of events had me going backwards in the life. My relationship with a girlfriend crashed. My mother and father divorced after 20 years. My mother was ill and did not want any treatment. I couldn’t find a job. My mother’s house went into foreclosure. I’m singing the blues.
I really told myself that I had hit rock bottom which actually made me feel better because I felt that things could only get better. Everything did get better with some computer training, a little luck, persistence, and maintaining a positive attitude. I was able to save my mother’s house thanks to a good paying job that I got after finishing an IT trade school.
I felt as though I had to re-invent myself. I used quick wins to keep me motivated and focused. Steady progess made me smile. Because my life was dissolving around me I now have a better foundation to weather any storm.
Awesome blog Bob.
Mr MakingUsmile
Bob,
No, you are not disappointing us. In fact, you are very brave by sharing this story.
I think that what has worked for me is being open and talking to friends. I just have to get the weight off my shoulders and as soon as it’s off, the better.
Also, I believe that everything happens for a reason. I know, it is very difficult to see that when you are going through hard times, but when I look back to my history and what I have experienced (and where I am now), this seems to be the pattern.
Cheers,
Timo
This is really inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing Sir Bob. I am certain that lot of people will surely learn from your story..
Cheers and Keep inspiring people
Herbert
Thanks for your loyal support, as always Herbert.
I appreciate you!
I feel what you are going through Bob. I also recently had a falling out with a Network Marketing company that I had huge faith in for over 2 years. Not only did I no longer believe the value they were offering others I saw a downfall in the leadership and mentoring.
Pretty sure we were associated with the same company Bob, so I can truly relate to what you went through. Like all new beginnings and true leaders we hold our head high and march forward onto bigger and more for filling endeavors.
We Believe in ourselves.
Sandy
Wow, that’s pretty rough. As a fellow allergy sufferer (all year around), I have to take Claritin D on the really bad days, but as a result of that I end up with some pretty intense anxiety. I also keep a bottle of Similasan eye drops at my desk and have to regularly use it to keep my eyes from looking like I was on an all night bender.
Hi Bob: This is one of your finest blogs and a real inspiration! You are mining the real gold (the kind that takes guts to bring to the surface and share) and it enriches all of us. Thank you.
Hi Bob,
First off, I’m so sorry you have to even deal with rough patches in your life but I know they happen whether we want them to or not. I have no doubt that you will come through this with flying colors and be so much better having been through this.
I don’t know what it’s like having children leave like that since I don’t have any of my own. All I can relate it to is how in love I am with my dog so if someone were to take her away from me I would be crushed. I know it’s not the same but to me, it’s the same kind of love.
Those darn allergies, they are the pits. When they hit they can really ruin your day, your week or your month. I sure hope you are feeling better now and coming through this.
I have yet to deal with any falling outs with my network marketing company so I’ll continue to pray that never happens. I hope you’ve found a new home and I wish you the very best of luck with that. You’ll have success no matter where you go and I have a feeling you’re really going to come through with your coaching program. When you ever find the time to implement that is beyond me. You are one busy guy.
The most important thing Bob is for you to take care of you. We can all wait, that’s for sure but we want you healthy, happy and in the right frame of mind. So you come first and we’ll all just sit back and wait for you.
I do hope that you are having a much better week as it heads towards Thanksgiving. So enjoy this time with your family.
Best wishes,
~Adrienne
Hi Bob,
thanks for sharing your story so frankly. That’s what makes a true leader: He isn’t afraid of sharing his challenges and his vulnerability. That’s why there’s not the slightest doubt in my mind that you will win in the long run.
Be blessed
Oliver
That is OK Bob! We always feel disappointed if we cannot post articles in our blogs as soon as possible. But we can understand your situation. you need to relax sometimes to relieve stress. Regards to your blog! Hope to read much more from it!
Hi Bob… I your posts on Facebook often, but for some reason hopped over here today and ended up reading this blog.. I was struck by how similar your story sounded to mine just about 18 months ago.. I was the founding distributor in a new network marketing company and helped the owners take it from idea to fruition to growing. To make a long story short, they didn’t follow through on a lot and in the end changed the entire structure of the company. I watched two years of time, energy and money go down the drain…
At the time it was devastating.. But I have always lived my life with the mindset that we never really know why things occur until long after the occurrence. Doors open when others close, but it takes awhile to for the path to become clear enough to understand what has opened up.
I just wanted to say that I can truly understand how you are feeling in reaction to your business, and even in reaction to your health (though that’s another story). I empathize with the space you are in…and know that you have the fortitude and belief to sustain you as this transition unfolds. Be well.
Sincerely,
Deborah Tutnauer
Hey Bob – huge hugs coming your way.
To tell you the truth Bob, I have been in your place many, many times over the course of the last few years and quite honestly I invite myself to take a break when I get poked in the eye with a sharp stick.
I have suffered through a horrible divorce that has just about left me like a wet rag. I have lost a couple of wonderful friends well before their time and had to allow myself to mourn for a few days here and there.
Then of course there is just the ‘being human’ part and running a busy life and family.
I have learned you HAVE to allow yourself to heal no matter what ‘it’ is that has squashed you.
Being a personal development coach, I find it senseless to keep on keeping on when I’m not feeling optimal. It’s kind of hypocritical :-). Taking a nice break is good and I know the feeling of getting your blood pumping again very well. I think it’s a sign that you are ‘ready’ to start firing things up again.
In short Bob, no disappointment here. I love to see your smiling face around our little neck of the woods, but I applaud you for having the sense to bow out and let things settle.
As you say, things wait.
Last week I took another break myself and went to Cabo San Lucas. I will admit I took my laptop, but I chose to play with the kids for a bit. I though my rankings and visits would suffer but much to my surprise, readership and the length of time spent on my site actually improved (LOL) and my alexa, though higher than normal actually came down a few thousand (go figure!).
Glad to see you feeling a bit better Bob. I encourage you to take a break when your body and mind needs it. Thanks for being an open book. It’s nice to know we are all human after all. 🙂
Btw… did you know I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger award a few weeks back?
Jayne